Doing What You Love Is Not Good...
And What To Do Instead.
“Just do what you love, and you’ll love what you do!”
How many times have you heard this?
Too many to count, I know.
There are so many times in life we’ve been told, heard, or read this saying. But what does it really mean? Do you know?
Let me share with you what I think and know. The truth of the matter is that doing what you love is not good, it's not even pretty. Doing what you love is the last thing in the world that you want to do. Why? Because doing what you love requires fearlessness, requires action, requires a sense of self that goes beyond where we are as human beings and individuals. It’s not easy, and it’s not nice.
Doing what you love had been dormant in my life for many decades, pretty much my whole life it seems at times. I was conscious and aware as a child that I was here on this earth to do what I was meant to do, to do what I loved. What I can tell you is that it’s not been easy; that thing, doing what I love. Because what I love for some people is not good or enough, for other people is great.
But what does it mean for me? The "what you love" part - That's the part that had made me stuck and had stopped me all these years; is that I love so many things. Just the fact that I am in this human body, in this human existence, in this interconnectivity with others makes it already difficult to do what I love. Because doing what you love is a sentence that sets your mind into the "Doing" part.
Doing what you love is not good, nice, or easy
"Oh it’s easy', many say, "just go out there and DO something."
The part about "love" is the most difficult part of the sentence to enact on, because you are focusing so much in the doing that you lose sight of what you really love; of what that love is, where it comes from, and why is there in the first place. So next time that you hear that phrase, that you read that phrase, that you tell yourself that phrase; be mindful of what is going on with those words and what is coming in from those words.
Because in my experience, doing what you love is not easy. It makes you look inside yourself and that place you have never looked before or have avoided for a long time. It makes you see yourself with a different light. A light that shines on the darkest and lightest places of yourself and others, as well as the most unknown places of yourself.
Doing what you love is not good. Why? Because you may be stuck with the doing, and forget about the loving. Is not good because the expectations of those around you, and of yourself will make you doubt, and even not try, or quit after you start.
What do you do instead?
First, let me ask you: what is it that you love, and would you want it to be the work that you do?
It is a tough question. The mere act of asking is already a loaded issue. But we have to start somewhere, and that somewhere is from within. I work with people who want to do what they love, change, transform into their own BEing. I get them to look at their world from the inside out to make sense of the outside that they live in.
I can tell you that from their experience, and my experience working with them as well as with myself, I have come to the same conclusion:
We don't really know what the fuck we love.
So doing what you love, like the quote says, is fucked up, is not good, and sure as heck is not nice.
Both my mentees and myself have come to the same conclusion:
Doing what you love, requires more guts than you could ever possible have. Are you ready to do that?
Because, I have been there. I still am there at times; in that place of insecurity, in the place of doubt, in the place of is this really what I want to do because I love it? I have been there, in the place of what the heck do I Love doing? We all have been there.
And through all this questioning, and through all of this process with myself and others, I have found that doing what you love goes beyond the simple phrases, those simple words. Sometimes I don't want to do the doing, I just want to love. Sometimes I just want to do the doing, so I don't have to do the love. And sometimes I just don't want either. Sometimes I just want to do what everyone else is doing, the norm, the known, the what's proven, the why not keep doing it, you know; the same.
When I find myself in those places of doubt; sometimes, I have been sitting there so deeply inside, at the bottom of the murky place of doubt, fear, doing, loving, that it takes me a long time to get out. But more and more through the years, and through working with other people and helping others; through my artwork; through the relationships that I have in life; through the different jobs I've done; I have been able to get more of the love part and the doing part to work together. I have been able to help others more as we grow together in this work of the 'doing what you love' thing.
Doing what you love is not good or even nice. But it sure as heck beats doing what everybody else is doing and everyone else is loving.
So I challenge you today to take that first step to get out of the pattern of doing what you love, just because that's what everybody else is saying or what you think you are supposed to do.
I can tell you it's much easier when you just do YOU.
When you take that sentence and break it apart and make it whole again, in your own terms.
Find that which is within you that is called love and run with it. Run with it in every way that you can and desire.
Make it your dreams, make it your waking life, make it your job, make it your friend, make it your lover. Only when you make it so, when you make it YOU, would you be able to really do what you love.
I invite you.